Same Old Shame

Somehow the same old shame still keeps hanging around. Every day you wake up hoping to have a day free of the thoughts and memories from mistakes and failures but that negative voice just seems to show up. Unfortunately, shame just doesn’t go away. It is rooted in your thoughts and keeps you stuck in the past. Conscious effort is required to move past the toxicity that is shame.

Acknowledge the Cause

Shame is a strong feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that comes from doing something wrong and realizing that someone either knows, or may come to know about it. Many people feel shame when they do things they know others may not approve of. Concealing your smoking habit, hiding your porn addiction are severe examples but even a little white lie can be the root of shame. The important thing is that you acknowledge the action or actions that are causing those feelings. Most of the time, whatever was done in the past is remembered, making it easy to understand the cause. Look back on your life and see what memories of wrongdoing come up. Those are probably causing some shame.

Break the Cycle

Many people will throw out advice like “just move on” or “it wasn’t that big of a deal” but when shame has taken root in your mind, it’s not that easy. You have to combat the negative thoughts with positivity and lots of it. Affirmations are one way to keep positive messages at the forefront of your mind during the day. I know many people still thing of the SNL skit with Stewart Smalley saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and gosh darn it people like me” into the mirror. While they may have made fun of someone saying affirmations to themselves, there’s nothing funny about the power of them. Positive affirmations when repeated 10 times twice a day have powerful effects. Affirmations can also be used any time the negative thoughts from your past come to mind. Think of them as your negativity defense.

Cancel the Bully

Shame that has been lingering for years is like a bully. It pushes you around, holds you down, and takes your lunch money, or at least takes away from the money you could be earning. You have to stand up to it in order to get that weight off of you. One way to do that is to connect with someone who you may have hidden the action from. Hiding things forever will keep that bully hanging around. You have to release your fear of someone finding out and reconcile the connection that was broken. Another way is to journal those feelings. Writing them down allows you to get it out and release the shame. Just like affirmations, journaling is a far to often overlooked tool.

Drive It Home

I have felt the immense pressure of shame and it held me back from so many positive things in my life. Shame kept me from a closer relationship with my wife and family. It kept me in a job that I knew wasn’t the best place for me. It kept me from learning and growing and improving myself to be who I was always meant to be. Don’t let another day go by before addressing the issue of shame in your life. Maybe you have never thought about what you are feeling being shame. I hope this article has shed some light on it for you. If you are interested in talking more about how I can help you overcome shame, please reach out to me using the form below or you can message me on Facebook or Instagram. Don’t just live, flourish!

Don’t settle for the same old shame


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